"AN INTERVIEW WITH THE SHOE THROWER"

"AN INTERVIEW WITH THE SHOE THROWER"
Column at Nshima.com


His name is Muntazer al-Zaidi and he's the toast of the
Middle East and many other parts of the world. Never before
has anyone achieved so much acclaim for throwing a pair of
shoes. He threw them at President Bush, of course, an act
that he's somewhat embarrassed about, as I learned during an
exclusive telephone interview.

Me: "Muntazer, thank you for taking my call."

Muntazer: "I did not know I could take calls. How much are
you paying the prison warden?"

Me: "I'm giving him a pair of shoes."

Muntazer: "You can send them to me. I will deliver them for
you."

Me: "No, thanks. I saw your last delivery."

Muntazer: "You are right, my friend. It was a bad delivery.
A very bad delivery. I'm embarrassed about it."

Me: "People say you are a hero. Do you consider yourself a
hero?"

Muntazer: "No, I am not a hero. I missed the target. It was
a bad delivery. I should have thrown harder and lower. I did
not practice enough."

Me: "You mean you practiced for this?"

Muntazer: "Of course I practiced. I spent many hours at the
shoeing range."

Me: "Shoeing range? You mean there's a special place where
you can practice throwing shoes?"

Muntazer: "Yes, we have many shoeing ranges here. They
provide us with hundreds of shoes, as well as cardboard
cutouts of President Bush."

Me: "So throwing shoes at President Bush is a national sport
in Iraq?"

Muntazer: "Yes, it is a very popular sport. We have many
competitions. But we do it in secret places. We don't want
the American soldiers to find out."

Me: "You are afraid of getting into trouble?"

Muntazer: "No, we are afraid of having too many players. The
lines are too long already."

Me: "There are lines? People stand in lines to throw shoes
at cutouts of President Bush?"

Muntazer: "Yes, the lines are very long. But it is good for
the people. It is a form of therapy."

Me: "Was it therapeutic for you to throw shoes at the actual
president?"

Muntazer: "Yes, it was. And then they arrested me and
brought me to prison."

Me: "So it's not therapeutic anymore?"

Muntazer: "No, it is very untherapeutic."

Me: "What do you think of the president's reflexes?"

Muntazer: "He moved like a man who is used to having shoes
thrown at him."

Me: "Are you sorry about what you did?"

Muntazer: "Yes, I am sorry. I am sorry that I missed."

Me: "You are extremely popular in the Arab World. I heard
that an Egyptian man has even offered his 20-year-old
daughter in marriage to you. How do you feel about that?"

Muntazer: "I feel like throwing more shoes."

Me: "I heard that the Pittsburgh Pirates want to sign you to
a pitching contract. Is that true?"

Muntazer: "Yes, they made inquiries about my availability.
But I am considering a more lucrative job offer."

Me: "A more lucrative job offer?"

Muntazer: "Yes, Madonna has offered me a job. She wants me
to throw shoes at her ex-husband."

Me: "Which one?"

Muntazer: "I'm not sure. We are still negotiating the
details."

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(c) Copyright 2008 Melvin Durai. All Rights Reserved.
MelvinDurai.com

Courtesy :Melvin Durai.